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Monday, October 10, 2016

Treadmills

I was planning to write about prepping a garden pumpkin for freezing, or something more profound about the pointlessness of unnecessary pain...but I'm not really feeling either of those topics today. I'm rather tired, and thinking about all the things I need to do before next week, and the week after, and so on.

Two big  things on my mind are a conference that I get to go to for work in two weeks - which is also the same week as a 5k run I am planning on doing. The two things don't conflict, it's just that they are more things I need to plan backwards for.

I'm really excited about the conference, partially because of the topic - international credential evaluation! whoo! I'm a dork - but the 5k is bringing up all sorts of complicated feels about being on a treadmill that keeps going around and around in circles.

Circles that are not as adorable as this baby.
This 5k was something I first did in a year I refer to as The Year of Good Health. It was a time when a friend of mine decided to work on losing weight and getting more physically fit, and somehow I went along with her. And for six months things were great: weight loss, daily walks and runs and Pilates sessions. I even went to the gym regularly. But then, things came up. Dissertation, work, marriages, and then it was the first 5k date and it had been two months since I had tried to run. I did the race, but I mostly walked, and it wasn't the triumph I hoped for.

And then, of course, the weight I'd lost came back on.

The same thing the next year.
And the next.
The fourth time, I had a vaguely-legitimate excuse in that I had sprained my calf muscle, so running? Running was not going to happen.

But it's another year, and I didn't train. And while the same excuses of writing, and marriage, and work are there, I still feel rather let-down by myself. I don't want this to keep happening. I want to be better, and actually meet the goals I've been planning for.

Last week was another week with good intentions. And little accomplished.
This is seriously getting old. Even my fussing about goals is getting repetitive now! There really isn't much  point in fussing about it over and over. I just have to actually try to get these done, and try it again. Because this time, maybe it will be good!

And here we go again!

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